Human Barbie - Zooey Deschanel

     Zooey Deschanel is beyond awesome. The first time I saw her she was playing Will Ferrell's love interest in Elf, which just so happens to be one of my favorite movies. She now has her very own series on FOX called "The New Girl", which just so happens to be one of my new favorite shows! She is quirky, awkward and a bit of a spaz but she offsets all that with a killer sense of humor, a sweet heart and a pretty face. I absolutely love Ms. Deschanel and I would probably pay to be her best friend. Not only can she make you laugh your face off but she can sing, too. Jeez, some people get all the luck...

A Story Of Devastation.

 the following is something that i wrote in my journal a little over three years ago:

     These past two years, or perhaps even longer, I have been waiting and searching. Unable to come up with reasons for all my trials or answers to all my questions. I'm not quite sure how it is possible to let go of the past. At least not completely and entirely. There's always this flicker in the back of my mind of what once was. It lingers in when it is most unwelcome. Then it carries me away to times that are so hopelessly gone. I cry sometimes because I'm not quite sure how I got to where I am today. It's like I was standing at the top of a mountain, and a swift landslide captured my balance and I was dragged to the bottom. Faster than any train could take me to a different destination. At the bottom of the mountain I can see the sky so far out of reach, so endlessly vast and consuming. I seem to have lost my determination to touch the clouds. I've lost what it means to live with ardor and passion. There seems to be no reasons for times like this, or feelings like this. I met a person on the street today that told me that everyone's lives are the same. I ran home right away, and knelt beside my bed to pray. I prayed that this was not true. I asked God to let me live a different life, to break the mold. He did not answer back. But I'm still waiting for his reply. 
     This could just as easily be you speaking. You could just as simply be standing in my shoes. And if you were, I would hope you could find it in you to run away. Claim that there's hope along the horizon. Then go out and take hold of it. There are times when people will ask "How did you get like this?". I'll tell them a story of what I believe is the reason. It's an old story, everyone has one like it. A story of being young and believing in endless possibilities. Enjoying every twist, every turn. Until one turn leads you to a hellish place, where dreams don't become a reality, but nightmares rip through your life. And I think back and I'm sitting in a truck and my charming father is crying. It's an aching cry, that makes my eyes squirm in my head as they are flooded with tears. In an parking lot, where trees actually take up more space than automobiles. His voice is loud but shaking. He struggles through the syllables. I never knew someone could cry so hard. I can actually see his pain. His profound sorrow has taken on a physical manifestation. It lingers in the truck. It's suffocating. My emotional agony is so overwhelming that my body begins to hurt. I don't want to make it worse for him. My criticism and blame turn to sympathy and pity. Out of the ordeal I just wanted to make sense of it all. A sense of abandonment had left me not only lonely, but angry. I never realized the pain my father kept locked in his heart.        
     This was the one time I can truly say I felt alive. It was the dramatic urgency of human emotions that made me realize that I was alive. I couldn't look away from all of the torment and anguish that swelled and surged all around me like a wave. This was what changed me. I quickly became an adult after this day. How could I go home and watch cartoon's. How could I live as a child should, when I now recognized the world as a dark hollow place. Toys now would not suffice, they would not and could not make me happy. After my realization that life was not a fairytale, and was indeed a heartbreaking journey, I tried anything to fill up the void. Moved far away. Lived a life that I considered worth living. But the many nights with different boys, intoxicated and blacked out, left me wasted and empty. I was at the bottom of the rock wall with no harness. And now I'm trying get a tight enough grip on the rocks so that I can pull myself back up the sky.

now: these words still hold some truth to how i feel about my parents divorce. i'm not sure it truly ever gets easier to deal with. i think the pain is still there, i'm still bleeding below the surface but i am able to think about it less. sometimes though, i realize that my mother still hasn't figured out life without my dad (though, i'm not sure that she ever had life figured out with him) and i feel sad and angry, both for her and at her. i still sink into depression sometimes when i think about my fractured family. i still tend to push away my stepmother because there are still issues i haven't sorted out with my own parents. i still have anger that my dad decided to move on, though, it is his right to be happy. My father and i do get along a lot better now, but i will always remember listening to my mother cry herself to sleep, nearly every night for two years. i guess, i will never understand divorce and hopefully, will never have to go through one. i'm sorry if i sound like i'm residing in self-pity land or if my rambling has begun to bore you...but i thought i would post something about an issue that still haunts me despite times promise to heal all wounds.


THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY READ THIS ALL THE WAY THROUGH AND IF YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING, I FEEL FOR YOU.


PIECE,
   CAKE

He Whispers "May I Steal Your Heart?"

     Despite his portrayal as a sinister, womanizing playboy...this man can saaaang! John Mayer is tall, dark and handsome. The typical type that has women and girls chasing him down in Whole Foods screaming "Oh my god, have my baby...ahhhhh!!!!" or something like that. However, after his bouts of dating some of Hollywood's most beloved women, allegedly breaking their hearts and exposing the details of their sex lives, people seemed to have turn against him. I have and always will love John Mayer. I could really care less what or who he does in his spare time. His music is what captured my heart.

Lovelies.

     I just adore beautiful photographs. Which reminds me, I need to look into purchasing a new camera, since mine has decided that it just doesn't want to live anymore. I hope these photo's brought you just as much serenity as they brought me! :)

XOXO

Across The Universe

     Wouldn't the world be so lovely if balloons fluttered around our skies daily, yet didn't harm the environment or animal life. Each of us could mark a piece of paper with a hopeful saying, a warm greeting or a silly joke, place it inside a balloon, step outside our front door and send that good little piece of us out into the world. That little balloon would then begin its journey. It would float and spin through the air above our heads, over our houses, down alley's and across lakes, eventually someone, a stranger, would feel a slight tickle on their shoulder and would turn to see that beautiful balloon. They would take it in their arms, hug it tightly till it popped and out would pour our little note. They would chuckle at our humor, smile at our salutation or be eased by our optimistic expression. That little balloon would make their day, and someone's little balloon would make our day. Imagine how happy everyone would be. The feeling of seeing those balloons would compare to how special we feel on our birthday's, except it would be like everyday was everyone's birthday. Oh, how my brain does wander through the clouds some days...

Boy Toy - Clive Owen

This may sound a bit vulgar but...I want Clive Owen to seduce me...all night long. ;) I've been infatuated with Clive ever since our eyes met, er, well, since I looked into his eyes while he stared at Natalie Portman's half-naked body. He's gorgeous, far and beyond any other man. He has a brooding, mysterious face, rugged yet polished. His eyes are cosmic and his gaze is gentle. He just oozes sex. He's tall, which is a must on my list, since I'm a fuggin' giant and he's got that old Hollywood aura. Clive can act, he has a raw presence on film, as if he doesn't even need to try. Plus, that British accent of his doesn't hurt his appeal. Yummm!

Lyrical Imprints On My Heart...

Music is just one of those transcendental elements that has the ability to fill your soul with hope when your in despair, serenity when you are rageful and brings back wonderful memories that you thought you had lost forever. It's so important in my life that it stands a close second to love. There are songs, as everybody knows, that lift you up and take you to another world. These are just a few of the songs that transport me and touch my heart. Press play to be soothed & moved.

She Was Obviously...Inspired By Kittens!

This video is sweetly hysterical! :)

Making Wishes On Candles.

1. Pattern Party Dress - Modcloth - $112.99
2. Quilted Leatherette Handbag - Forever21 - $16.80
3. Contrast Frill Crook Umbrella - Topshop - $15.00
4. Lustrous Ladybug Heel - Modcloth - $69.99
5. This Magic Moment Blazer - Modcloth - $49.99
6. Ronnie Colour Block Enamel Bangle Set - Boohoo - $10.00
7. Krumrine Gloves - Aldo - $12.00

Cute Widdle Dogs!

"Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms"George Eliot

Sing A Little Song.

 

Squeeze - "Black Coffee In Bed" ♥
This is one of my most favorite hits.

Wish Making.

There's this saying that goes something like this "IF YOU CAN WISH IT YOU CAN HAVE IT"...I might have totally butchered the wording but the meaning remains the same. I've been thinking a lot lately about my future. I have many dreams that I wish to make realities but waiver in my belief of myself. Sometimes I am the most confident girl on the block and at other times I want to crawl into a hole and hide away from the world. I have insecurities just like everyone else....but my biggest wish of all is to work through them and discover the me I want to be. Some say if you think positively about yourself and your future all good things will come to you and a beautiful life will fall into place. Fingers crossed.

xo- Cake

24 @ 24

     So, I've got goals. 24 to be exact. Seems like quite a lot of goals but I have my entire 24th year of life to reach 'em! Wish me luck!

1. Finish my AA & begin working on my Bachelor's

2. Get a B.A.

3. Figure out a career path for myself (once and for all!)

4. Make & sell my original artwork

5. Get a passport (so I can eventually go to France!)

6. Stick to a workout regimen to tone up buns & thighs 

7. Purchase an old school camera (black & white photo's)

8. Learn French

9. Pay off debt

10. Finish my collage book

11. Buy & learn how to use a sewing machine

12. Volunteer at an animal shelter (OFTEN)

13. Organize my belongings (stop hoarding things I don't need, heehee)

14. Get movie star white teeth

15. Pay it forward (as much as possible)

16. Get a bicycle!

17. Read 10 books

18. Learn yoga

19. Stop drinking soda

20. Keep up to date with my blog

21. Go to a Boston Celtic's game!

22. Begin writing my novel

23. Take a singing lesson

24. Get my first tattoo (script on rib cage)

I Wanna Do Bad Things With You.

I'm a little late with the True Blood craze...but boy have I gone mad for it! I've watched the first three seasons in the past two weeks and have fallen madly in love with Vampire Bill Compton. Good lord he is gorgeous...and dead. I adore the way Bill and Sookie care so deeply for one another and how their connection is so undeniably strong and sincere. I have never been one to rave about vampire's and all their mysterious sensuality...but I've been awakened to their intrigue. 

This show is just plain great from the opening credits (I love the theme song and imagery, it definitely captures the badass essence of the show) to the powerful plots and sinister dialogue. All of the characters are unique and add to the heart of the show. I shouldn't begin to list and explain each characters attributes and role because I would end up writing a novel.... but I will say that my favorite characters are Sookie (main character), Bill (vampire), Lafayette (cross dressing, gay cook), Jessica (young, "virgin" vampire), and Jason (Sookie's very stupid brother). Though, I really like all of the characters, these are just my favorites. 

Everyone on the show is sexy and the intimate love-making scenes are so believable that I'm not positive that the actor's aren't actually having sex. I like the real human emotion (and vampire emotion) that is captured, as well as, the violence and predatory behavior of the vamp's that is both terrifying and enticing. Those fangs, the darkness, the love and the tenderness...all of life and death's offerings are showcased in this delightful series. 

You want a new obsession?
Sit back and soak in some True Blood!

Gangsta Girl.

     I am not posting this video because I condone ignorance and stupidity. I am simply posting it because I support any kind of comedic relief from the monotony of the daily routine. I must say, despite Kreayshawn's ridiculous verbal spewing she calls "rapping" I had a pretty satisfying belly laugh from watching this.
     If you would like to laugh and possibly catch a case of the "I-can't-get-this-song-out-of-my-head" 's then PRESS PLAY!




Piece,
     Cake

Make-up Mischief...

     So, I love watching youtube video's showcasing how to do awesome make-up & hair. It's like having a zillion beauty consultants at your fingertips! Then there are the how to make yourself look like a gremlin with monstrous make-up and hideous hair video's. However, I stumbled upon two British sisters who perfected the latter and made me laugh til my face hurt. These girls kickass!

Look your 'best' challange pt. 1 - Sammi & Dani

Look your 'best' challange pt. 2 - Sammi & Dani 

Words To Live By.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Desiderata - Max Ehrmann c.1920

Boy Toy - Paul Rudd

     He's been in some of the best movies of all time, he's hilarious, he's talented and he's so freakin' hot! That makes him a triple threat, right? The first glimpse I ever caught of Mr. Paul Rudd was in Clueless. He was Cher's ex-stepbrother/love incest, ehm, I mean interest. Though them ending up together weirded me out a bit... how can I blame Cher for wanting to bang her hot ex-stepbrother. He then went on to play Phoebe's boyfriend turned husband on Friends and people really began to take notice of him. I loved him as the sarcastic, man-child husband in Knocked Up. In Role Models he played the part of a terrible role model to two off-beat kids, which made me laugh so hard I nearly threw up. 

     He wowed me in The 40-year-old Virgin, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Year One, How Do You Know and I Could Never Be Your Woman. Oh-em-gee & how could I forget him acting opposite Steve Carrell in Dinner For Schmucks (I love this film) where he plays a business professional looking to move up the ranks by way of exploiting a poor schmuck for the sheer amusement and acceptance of his boss. Whatever his role, he does it well. He's got that "Everything-he-says-is-funny-even-if-it's-not-meant-to-be" type humor. Plus, looking at those green eyes never hurts. :)

Best in Film!

Films are an oddity that allow us to escape our own realities and enter another world. 

     Sometimes that world is terrifyingly scary, sometimes sweet, sometimes hilarious and sometimes that world is so interesting that we bring it back to our world and what we experienced in that alternate universe lingers in our minds and hearts forever. I have a deep love for many films but the following are the top twenty movies that I watch over & over again and adore more & more every time.

Closer

The Wizard Of Oz

Mystic River

Superbad

Get Him To The Greek

Pineapple Express

 Step Brother's

Beauty & The Beast

Dirty Love

Elf

Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory

The Hot Chick

Mean Girls

 The Dark Knight

The Notebook

The Hangover

 In The Name Of The Father

Despicable Me

Dinner For Schmucks

300

Honorable Mentions (since it's nearly impossible to narrrow it down to twenty):
Black Swan, A Bronx Tale, Knocked Up, Juno, Mr. Brooks, The Upside Of Anger, Edward Sissorhands, "Girl, Interrupted",  White Chicks, The House Bunny, Monster's Inc., Toy Story (1, 2 & 3), Wedding Crashers, Borat, Some Like It Hot, Walle, Kindergarten Cop, Zombieland, Clueless, & Easy A.


What are your favorite films?